Snack Mountain Blog

No, it’s not my birthday. Although I know it looks like it from the picture above. On Wednesday my brother came over with these amazing party supplies that he and Lisa found upstate at a flea market. The timing was perfect because of the news of my scan results! I can’t believe he found all this amazing stuff!

And then yesterday these amazing flowers arrived from my cousin Cathy.

I met with the doctors yesterday who said that the scan is as good as you could hope for and that it was a “super scan.” All the areas where there was something halved in size. This is definitely reason to celebrate. The medicine is working and I believe that it will continue to work. However, I prodded one of my doctors more with a question about survivorship and her answer made me almost pass out again. She had said many times that this is like having a chronic disease that you have to monitor so I guess I misspoke in my last post about this “all being behind me soon.” Regardless of how long I actually live for, this will be part of my life for years to come and I am ok with that part I guess. Especially with the hope of all the new cutting edge drugs that are being tested right now. But it’s so damn hard to face the idea of death. I’m sorry to be so heavy and negative and I know I should be celebrating my recent victory but it’s really scary! Ack! Another daunting figure is the fact that only 3,000 people a year in America are diagnosed what I have. That’s out of 150,000,000 women in this country. Making the odds 1 in 50,000.* Geez! I mean I know I’m special but I’d rather be special and not have cancer! Ok, let’s get back to the positive. Last month I was so good at it and many of you have commented that my recovery so far has to be attributed to that and I agree. I will get back there soon. I know I will. I am just processing this big stuff now because it’s part of the whole thing and must be part of the healing process somehow. But please, continue to send love and pray for me. And pray that the real cure for cancer is available soon and will allow me to live into my 80s. Love to you all!

*I had originally written that the odds were 1 in 5,000,000 which was incorrect. I had not properly done my math. Oops!!

I saw this on the street yesterday and thought it would bring me good luck and it did! I know you are all probably at the edge of your seats just as I have been and it almost feels weird telling you on the blog instead of calling every single person in my phone book or going up to the roof and yelling the news. So I just finally heard from my doctor at Sloan and the results from the CT scan are in and she said that it’s a good scan and that the chemotherapy is working!! Woohooo! Based on how I have been feeling it only makes sense that things are going in the right direction but its a huge relief to know for sure! And to know that this could all be behind me soon! Ok, I’m off to eat lunch now! Thank you again for all of your ongoing support! xoxoxo

This weekend at the beach I was a craft machine. I didn’t even sit on the beach. The back deck was my studio. First, I went to town on making some shells both with paint and with the leftover cut outs from Steve’s birthday card. Here’s a group shot (some are works in progress…)

Then I started painting on these wooden beads with florescent paint. I decided to splatter paint on them to make them wild, crazy and1980s.

Here’s a fun close up!

Then the plan is to paint those silly Pizza Man eyes on them but I ran out of time! All I could finish was prepping the whites of their eyes.

Although I did finish one guy that I wore home with me. Here he is comfortably resting on my bosom. Hahahah! I got to use the word bosom.

No news yet from the imaging. The waiting game is not fun. I’m pulling my hair out in anxiety (figuratively speaking…hahahahaha). Ok, I’m off to yoga now to quiet my mind. Ciao!

Thank you all for your Care Bear stares and love! I actually feel like I am inside a hot water bottle of your love just like this image that I re-pinned on Pinterest this morning!

I thought I would find out results today but I was wrong. Gotta wait till Monday! Yesterday was intense for sure. Not eating for 6 hours was not as bad as I thought it might be but the heat in NYC is pretty brutal. I decided to wear a crazy outfit for the day hoping that I might be spotted by Bill Cunningham.

Going back to the imaging department at Sloan was a little overwhelming for me. When I got my first imaging done there on April 30th I was in the worst pain I have experienced in my life so every corner of the office was riddled with painful memories. But one positive thing I was happy to revisit was the amazing art they have in the waiting area.

They are these amazing photorealistic drawings or paintings of metallic origami shapes! And this one above has such a cool custom frame. Usually I am not a fan of photorealistic work but I think the imagery this artist used is captivating and unique! Origami! Yes please! They remind me so much of my friend Lauren from grad school’s work. Best waiting room art ever! Haha. Going into the imaging machine, I was overcome with a huge wave of emotion that I was not expecting. Knowing that I could not be sobbing while the imaging was being done I had to hold it in which was not easy! And I never thought of myself as a super religious person (although with Kundalini I am becoming more spiritual) I was pretty much begging God to save my life the whole time. Let’s hope he/she heard me!!! Although maybe it will be the amazingness of modern medicine that will save me in the end. My mom is currently on the couch in the other room reading an article in Time magazine called “The End of Chemo” or something about the new genetically targeted drugs that I would be eligible for (because of the mutation they identified in my cancer) if the chemo doesn’t work of if the the cancer comes back.

Now, get ready for this! When I got home, I received the most unbelievable gift ever! Do you remember the Pizza Man that Maura and Abe made me based on the illustration in the background of this blog? Well, before they sent it to me, they took it all over LA and photographed it and made a book of the photos!!! They devised an amazing system (which they reveal at end) to make him look like he is walking on his own! As I flipped through the pages, I laughed harder than I ever have in my whole life (which is the best medicine of all, right?). Here’s some of the spreads from the book!

This next one is at this amazing sticker store at the Original Farmers Market which is one of my all-time favorite places in LA!

They even took him to the beach!!

Here’s a spread where they show how they did it!

Man Oh Man! I am a lucky girl to have such good friends! Both Maura and Abe are into animation and claymation with their own work so this project comes from shared creative interests. Clearly I need to get back to LA as soon as possible!

Finally, today I hung out with my best friend from college Kari who gave me a copy of the new Gweneth cookbook and also one of her husband and my college friend Nic’s amazing Air Pod planters with a cute lil cactus guy in it!

The scarf background is this Vera Neumann collaboration with Target I got recently. Just can’t get enough watermelon these days!! Tomorrow I am off to Fire Island where I plan to get my craft on with my friend Hue! Ciao!

Ok folks, here I go, into the scanning machine. Well, not right now. In about 5-6 hours from now. I’m not supposed to eat for 6 hours before so I just ate a huge breakfast and will hopefully not pass out from hunger. Haha. In case you are wondering, I ate a banana, watermelon, and a frittata sandwich with this delicious Fennel and Herb Frittata that Rachel made on Tuesday. Look at how glorious it is!

Rachel and I are both huge fans of Martha Rose Shulman’s Frittatas. Rachel said she made five last week! They are staples for me too! I used make them all the time and eat them as sandwiches for lunch! They are so good and versatile!!

Last night my friend Jocelyn came over and taught me how to crochet with the florescent colored yarn she sent me!

My grandma, we called her Nana, who took care of me and my bro everyday when we were growing up was a prolific crocheter! She would churn out blankets at factory speeds. At one point towards the end of her life we were donating blankets on a weekly basis to the Ronald McDonald house in the neighborhood. I have several of her craziest looking blankets where she used crazy color combos and unique patterns/designs that I cherish. She showed me how to crochet once ages ago so when Jocelyn was teaching me it was somewhat familiar. And I felt like I was channeling her while I worked which sounds good to me! Channeling my Nana! It’s a song too (just ask Steve…hahahah). My Nana mostly made Granny Squares so Jocelyn got one started for me.

I need to watch some YouTube videos to really learn this stitch because I was kinda fading as she showed me this. Although I got the basic idea of how it works so that’s good. Maybe one day I’ll learn this crazy pattern used in this blanket my Nana made.

I guess I never realized where my obsession with bright colors came from until now! Here she is holding me as a baby while my Mom’s father, Poppa Ralph, overlooks.

Look at all that hair on my head! I was born with a full head of black hair so right now really is the only time in my life that I’ve ever been bald. Hahaha. Alright, catch you on the flip side!

Hello out there! So this weekend, I came upon a bit of a wall. A wall of fear. I think this is to be expected but I really haven’t been feeling scared since the early days of all of this. I think it’s mostly because of the imaging that I am getting on Thursday that will reveal concrete information on how my treatment is going. But also, I think I hadn’t fully faced or contemplated the scale of my diagnosis. Of course I’ve known what it is this whole time but if you stop to think about it, it sounds pretty darn scary. Stage IV. Metastatic. Yuck. Sorry if I overwhelmed you with those words. I was hesitant to share them but what the heck. I’ve got to overcome this fear somehow so maybe writing them down is helpful. Of course, I don’t want to dwell on the scary stuff but I think it’s a healthy thing for me process this stuff once in awhile. I don’t think I’ve been in denial but I have to keep it in perspective for future turns down this crazy road I’ve been set on.

After a full day of feeling really scared on Saturday, I was planning to write to my amazing and inspiring yoga teacher the next morning, Tej, for advice and prayers. And lo and behold, I woke up with an email from her asking how I was doing! I asked if her class would pray for me again and gave her an update on my situation. She also gave me a meditation to do for self-hypnosis where you breath in and send the energy to heal specific parts of your body. But I have a favor to ask all of you, will you please send me some “Care Bear Stares” that my imaging comes back with positive results? See below for animated gif demonstration:

Lastly, I was at Fire Island this weekend and I went on a bike ride with Lisa and found this amazing vintage puzzle that someone was getting rid of.

I don’t know what it is about the image but I find it to be unbelievably soothing/comforting. I want to go inside the image and lay down. This was the only image I took of it and I want to either print this one or scan the box to print out a high quality version to frame. I decided I should look at the image every day if I find it peaceful right? There’s something very Ray Eames about this image in terms of the perfect arrangement of flowers and shells. Alright well, I’m off to send myself some inward facing Care Bear Stares! xoxo

Pizza! Cookies! Make-overs! Last night was like a time warp to 7th grade! In fact, the idea for the evening came from one of my best friends from that era so I guess it makes sense! Haha. It really was a blast! Amanda (my friend from growing up) who works at the rad website You Beauty invited her friend and former co-worker, Jamie, to my house to show me and my other friend Jenn how to apply make up! But first, we had to eat!!! And dessert came first! I asked Rachel to make those healthy 101 Cookbook cookies. I was going to make them but since she was already here, I thought why not! She works at The Smile and so we were talking about how I had never had their famous cookies (chocolate chip cookies are one of my all time favorite foods!) Rachel said she would bring some for me next time she came to cook. But lo and behold, Amanda showed up with six of them! So we decided to have a cookie battle. Gluten, sugar and dairy free vs. All of the above! Hahaha.

Then next course was another of my favorite foods, PIZZA, from this local pizza place I wanted to try! The box was crazy long! Here’s Jenn holding the massive box!

And here’s the pizza! Where is Garfield when you need him?!?!?!

Then the make-up party began!

Amanda documented everything with my fancy camera! So to be editorial, here’s a before and after shot!!

Jenn was the official note-taker and she was very thorough! I haven’t had time to read through them yet but I can post them here if people want me to! First Jamie put a crazy looking mask on my face!

Jamie said that it’s key to moisturize and take good care of your skin if you want the make up to look good! She then applied tons of moisturizer, toner, primers, serums! My skin looked very uniform and lovely! Then she gave me eyebrows! Wooooo!

I think the painted eyebrows look a little weird without any other make up on so next she applied eyeshadow and then eyeliner!

It started getting late so we wrapped up around 11ish but we didn’t part ways without taking some fun photos first! Here’s what happened when my hat came off! Yeahhh!

Here’s a shot of me, Jamie and Amanda! Jamie is so awesome and fun to hang out with!! Luckily she lives in my hood so we can meet up again! Perhaps at the new Meatball Shop that I saw is opening on 2nd Ave and 76th street! Woop woop!

Then we turned the lights down low and caught this picture with a glow!

Finally, before bed, I tried on one of my wigs and for the first time I don’t think I would be mistaken for a Hasidic woman! Nice!!!

Alright, it’s way past my bedtime! Night y’all!!!