No, it’s not my birthday. Although I know it looks like it from the picture above. On Wednesday my brother came over with these amazing party supplies that he and Lisa found upstate at a flea market. The timing was perfect because of the news of my scan results! I can’t believe he found all this amazing stuff!
And then yesterday these amazing flowers arrived from my cousin Cathy.
I met with the doctors yesterday who said that the scan is as good as you could hope for and that it was a “super scan.” All the areas where there was something halved in size. This is definitely reason to celebrate. The medicine is working and I believe that it will continue to work. However, I prodded one of my doctors more with a question about survivorship and her answer made me almost pass out again. She had said many times that this is like having a chronic disease that you have to monitor so I guess I misspoke in my last post about this “all being behind me soon.” Regardless of how long I actually live for, this will be part of my life for years to come and I am ok with that part I guess. Especially with the hope of all the new cutting edge drugs that are being tested right now. But it’s so damn hard to face the idea of death. I’m sorry to be so heavy and negative and I know I should be celebrating my recent victory but it’s really scary! Ack! Another daunting figure is the fact that only 3,000 people a year in America are diagnosed what I have. That’s out of 150,000,000 women in this country. Making the odds 1 in 50,000.* Geez! I mean I know I’m special but I’d rather be special and not have cancer! Ok, let’s get back to the positive. Last month I was so good at it and many of you have commented that my recovery so far has to be attributed to that and I agree. I will get back there soon. I know I will. I am just processing this big stuff now because it’s part of the whole thing and must be part of the healing process somehow. But please, continue to send love and pray for me. And pray that the real cure for cancer is available soon and will allow me to live into my 80s. Love to you all!
*I had originally written that the odds were 1 in 5,000,000 which was incorrect. I had not properly done my math. Oops!!