So I was maybe gonna wait until next week to do this but I’ve been telling lots of people today so why not share it with the world wide internet? Here goes. I have been diagnosed with cervical cancer that has spread to other areas in my body but mostly in my pelvis. If you are a reader of this blog you may remember me mentioning being in pain over the past few months. The whole story is very long and I’m not going to share all the details right now now. But tracking down the root of my symptoms/illness has been like a wild goose chase and while the New York Jew in me often feared that I had cancer, it was incredibly shocking and terrifying that it actually turned out to be true. To be honest, I feel lucky to have found out as quickly as I did considering how many doctors and even the emergency room at UCLA dismissed my complaints and just told me I had a ruptured cyst. I continued to look for a better doctor and 3 weeks ago found one at Cedars Sinai through my amazing therapist who I feel so indebted to now. I have been on the fence about sharing all of this on the blog but I believe that it will help me to stay positive, record the experience and hopefully help others who are going through a similar experience. I am going to be treated at Memorial Sloan Kettering in New York because it’s down the street from where I grew up so I am living at home while my amazing parents take care of me. I am so grateful for the amazing positive friends that I have in my life who are empowering me with the strength to get through all of this. About a month before I got sick, I started dating a new amazing guy named Steve who has been a huge source of comfort, support and positivity. It’s funny how the best thing and the worst thing can happen to you at the same time. I guess that’s just how life is sometimes. He encouraged me to start a list of all the things I am going to do when I get better so maybe I will start sharing some of those plans with you as well. Another inspirational moment in all of this was when I was getting the initial MRI on April 18th that revealed the masses in my pelvis. At the time, I didn’t really think I had cancer but was a little worried/freaked out because the doctor said my condition wasn’t fitting into any common diagnosis. As I was laying in the MRI machine, the thought popped into my head “When this is all over, you will be a healer.” I’ve continued to think about what this will mean for me and I plan to explore this idea over my treatment period. One thing I am thinking is that I want to take this online nutrition program at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. I found out about it through one my best friends Rachel. About 4.5 years ago she was diagnosed with Leukemia. The day after she told me, after I recovered from the shock, I was convinced that she was going to be OK and I told her so. At the time of her treatment, I was at grad school at Yale at the time so couldn’t be around her as much as I wanted to but I always wore this heart necklace to send her love. She always said she could feel my presence/energy even if I was not around her physically. And she just celebrated her 4 year bone marrow transplant! Holla!
So now it’s time for me to wear the necklace for myself and to accept the love and positivity from my friends and family. I start chemotherapy tomorrow afternoon. I’m a bit scared but honestly, I’m so ready to just get started with treatment and kick this cancer in the butt! I am so excited to get healthy and not be in pain anymore! Even though I know the side effects of chemo are going to be intense, I know I can handle it. Early next week, I am going to cut my hair Anne Hathaway style and buy some wigs. I’ll share some pics with you then! As for the silly picture of me above. That’s what my hair looked like when I woke up this morning so I thought it would be a funny juxtaposition for all the hairstyles I’ll be rocking in the near future.
Love to the world,